The Servant's Quarters

About 5 months ago, we were told that this day was coming. There has been a lot of stress since then. Many ups and downs. And for some of us, we've been promised an additional two months of uncertainty before we can truly look around and see who has survived the purge.

But for many of my colleagues at Ford Motor Company, this is the end.

Today is the day when almost 30% of my co-workers will "separate" from the company.

The mood around here is very peculiar. Some people are delighted to be leaving, anxious to move onto new careers and opportunities. Some people are excited about entering retirement. Others who are leaving are facing it with regret and a bit of anxiety. I spoke at length with one of my co-workers this morning who is retiring after 3o years. She didn't want to do it but didn't feel that she had a choice. She's worried about what's next. She'd like to travel a bit, but she's alone and doesn't want to go anywhere without companionship. Tomorrow, she starts giving her house an overdue cleaning. Eventually, she intends to find some other work.

(Yup, it's pretty weird around here. As I'm typing this, the cubical next to mine suddenly blasted out the infamous polka music that typically accompanies the famous "Chicken Dance" at weddings and parties. I have no idea what that's about. I think I'm in the Twilight Zone.)

For the rest of us, we're still wondering if we're going to have jobs. My understanding of the situation: my area of the company came close to meeting the 30% requirement, missing the goal by just a few people. That being the case, the decision may be made to pursue "involuntary separations." With so few employees to target, there's some peace that the odds are strongly against any one of us being fired. But, you just never know. It sounds like it's going to be the end of April before we ultimately, finally know if our jobs are secure. For me personally, I got some unconfirmed information from a reliable source who shall not be named that my area should be good and my head should not be on the chopping block. (Suddenly, this is like spying for the CIA.) No guarantees in this crazy world, but it sounds promising.

Tomorrow's going to be really interesting. No one's really sure who's going to show up for work and who's going to be doing what jobs. My workload has already been changing drastically towards the extremely busy side of the spectrum. I've picked up some tasks that really don't have much to do with my job in light of some people who are leaving. Come the morrow, 30% of us suddenly aren't going to be here. And no one's really sure who the 30% is. Should be interesting.

And very unsettling.

I saw Mom briefly yesterday afternoon. She and Dad weren't able to make it church, so she asked me to bring her this week's version of our congregation's list of prayer needs.

She is doing okay, but the radiation treatments are starting to take their toll. She says that the site of the treatments is starting to become irritated and red. I believe that she's felling a bit wiped out from the daily radiation infusions as well.

She's doing okay and still intends to drive herself to the clinic everyday. However, we're starting to consider that she may have to do to the ladies of the church for transportation assistance before this is over.

She has doctor appointments later this week, so I'm hoping we'll hear more about the Congestive Heart Failure sometime in the next couple of days.

Prayers, as always, are appreciated.

I sometimes wonder who the worst father in the world is. In some empirical sense, there must be one. There has to be someone who is such a mean, cruel idiot that he has no consideration of the well-being of his kids, thinking only of himself. If you look long enough and hard enough, eventually you would have to find someone who qualifies as the least skilled, least sensitive, least loving man towards his children.

Now, I've never seen him, and I have no idea who he is. That is, I HAD no idea who he is until he showed up at my parent's house the other night for their Homeschool Unit End Celebration. I'd like to say that he's truly my evil twin who knocked me out, tied me up, and took my place for the evening. But I can't. It was all me.

I came home from work on Wednesday a bit preoccupied but excited about the prospect of seeing my children reveal their staggering reservoirs of knowledge that had accumulated over the previous weeks. However, I do recall being slightly anxious about the length of the evening. This celebration was going to cover 18 weeks of school. That's a lot of fancy book larnin'. My anxiety blossomed into outright irritation when I saw the pile of costumes, school books, art projects, term papers, etc. that would have to be moved over to the parents' house for the evening's festivities. Ugh. My mood was getting worse by the second. In addition, for some inexplicable reason, I started to feel really tired and desperate for sleep.

We made it over there, and the evening began. The kids shared the books they had read, maps they had drawn, and showed off their craft projects. Two skits were performed. It was while all of this was going on that I encountered the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. Isaac and Philip, perhaps due to the stress of having to recite in front of others their understanding of Ancient Greece, the Mayans, Confucious, and the culture of Israel during Bible times, lapsed into a mood of absolute silliness and lost it with a bunch of distracting gags, laughs, and cutting up. I was furious. I took Isaac aside and snapped at him mercilessly. I rolled my eyes at Philip and snapped at him to "CUT IT OUT!"

My foul mood went over the edge.

Rita kept on a brave front, but by the time we managed to roll into the driveway back home, I had begun to realize the magnitude of my evil ways. As she (quite rightly) pointed out, I had totally failed to give the kids any positive reinforcement for their excellent work during the school year to date. Further, what I had completely missed was that this was her big night. Her time of validation when she was going to show off her star pupils and the amazing feats they had accomplished during the very challenging previous months.

All she got from her husband was a bunch of eye rolling, snapping, bad temper, impatience, and NO AFFIRMATION. When we got home, she made sure that I understood the message that I had sent loud and clear - I didn't value any of the hard work she had done since September.

And she was right. Despite the fact that I think she's the best homeschooling Mom in the world, that was the message that I had sent loud and clear.

What a moron.

As a Christian Dad, I should never allow my moods to dictate my behavior. It's called self-control, and it should be something that I practice on a daily basis. No matter how I feel at any given moment, I should be able to provide my family with love and support, especially during such an important occasion as this one was.

Ugh.

Well, fortunately, there is forgiveness. Rita was justifiably hurt, but she's a very loving and forgiving lady. Things are already moving back towards normal, but it's been a long time since I messed up THIS bad. If my relationship with my wife was a bank account, it would definitely be overdrawn right now. Looks like I'm going to be spending my time for a while making some regular deposits to get the balance back up where it needs to be.

But then, as a husband, that's what I should be doing all the time anyway!

This morning at 9:00 AM EST, my friend, Lori, is facing the latest hurdle in her ongoing struggle. Although I can't share any details, I can tell you that Lori is a wonderful Christian lady who has three beautiful children and who is facing a very difficult situation.

With all my heart, I sincerely request that any followers of Jesus Christ who are reading this blog to stop what they are doing for as long as they feel lead and offer up fervent prayers for Lori this morning. Also, please continue to keep her in your prayers. I will continue to request more specific times of prayer on my site as the need arises.

Thanks and God bless you.

Been a couple of weird days in the Ford Fitness Center locker room. For those of you who aren't in the know, I get up everyday around 5:00 AM, throw on my clothes and head into Dearborn for some exercise at the Ford Fitness Center. I then get cleaned up and head right to the office.

I've been doing this for a few years now, and yesterday was a first. After my shower, I found that someone had stolen my towel.

I was stunned.

That had never happened to me before. I stood there dripping with no obvious way to dry off. Other guys who were just getting in into the shower or finishing up looked at me with embarrassment and sympathy. One guy even said, "Hey, I didn't take it." Like I accused him or something.

Grumbling and still not willing to believe what had happened to me, I walked to the sinks, grabbed a few handfuls of paper towel, and dried off as best I could. I took a little satisfaction in that, while I'm sure he didn't realize it, I had had the last laugh on my thief. I usually use my towels for a couple of days before changing them out for a new, clean one. And the stolen towel had been used the day before.

EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW!

That'll teach ya, ya locker room weasel.

Likewise, today had a less dramatic but more surreal moment. I was standing in the shower contemplating a sad situation in my life right now and, I admit, feeling a bit down about it. Without warning, the guy in the next shower stall started loudly singing "Over The Rainbow".

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Very strange.

(File this post under "Locker Room Humor.")

Mom has resumed her radiation treatments. Things seem to be going very well for her, but she continues to struggle with extreme lack of energy. I have no update on how the Congestive Heart Failure is continuing to afflict her. We should hear over the next couple of days on whether or not that condition is reversing itself in light of the fact that she is no longer receiving hercepton.

Some things are returning to normal. Tomorrow evening, our entire family and one of Olivia's friends are going over to Mom and Dad's house for an "End of Unit Celebration." The curriculum we're using with the kids divides the school year up into 4 units. At the end of each unit, the kids have a celebration in which they demonstrate all the wonderful knowledge that they gained over the previous weeks. So, tomorrow, Mom and Dad are going to be exposed to more Ancient Egyptian history, art projects, term papers, etc. etc. etc. than they ever thought possible.

Another good sign - Mom is asking me to bring the dog over for a visit. She's missing her only four legged grandchild.

According to my Dad, Mom is resting comfortably at home. It looks like there is smooth sailing ahead, at least in terms of the Congestive Heart Failure. It looks like she's on the mend.

I'll post something about her next week after she's (I pray) more recovered and back on her radiation treatment.

Thanks for the prayers, everyone. I ask you to keep them coming! Still lots more radiation treatments ahead.

Another praise report - Things went very well for my friend, Lori, during her big day yesterday. I thank everyone who interceeded on her behalf.

Well, according to Mom, this is good news, even though my heart skipped a few beats when she told me about it.

Mom has been diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure. As she suspected, this condition has been brought on by the hercepton infusions. The good news is that if she doesn't receive anymore infusions and takes it easy for a week or so, the condition should reverse itself. The only thing that's troubling is that the hercepton was completely effective at stopping the type of cancer that Mom had. We're naturally concerned about the possibility of the cancer coming back without it.

So, bed rest for a few days. Taking it easy. And starting Monday, radiation treatments resume.

Before I hung up with her, Mom commented that this turned out to be just a "blip on the radar." Thank God.

And thanks to everyone who prayed with us!!!

This morning at 11:00 AM EST, my dear friend and sister in Christ, Lori, will be facing a challenging situation. Everything is expected to go well, but I would appreciate it if the saints of God would join in prayer and ask Him to bless the situation.

Also, I'll be providing an update on Mom later this afternoon as soon as I know how things are going.

Thanks, and God bless everyone!

Last night, Olivia and I attended the annual Daddy Daughter Dance at the Wayne Recreation Center. I was surprised that they would have it right on Valentine's Day, forcing the Dads to choose between their daughters and their wives. However, because I am married to the coolest lady in the world and Rita and I have never made a big stink about Valentine's Day anyway, there were no worries.

The dance was sold out, meaning that there were 115 girls and almost that many Dads in attendance. It was very nice. Right after we showed up, we got our picture snapped. (I have to keep reminding myself that the camera adds at least 20 pounds to you in every picture. It used to be only 10 pounds, but as I've gotten older, it seems that the amount added keeps going up. Funny how that works.) Then we went inside for an hour and a half of square dancing, the bunny hop, and that classic favorite, the chicken dance. Two intermissions were offered during the night, and the volunteers plied us with Sprite and sugar cookies to send our energy levels soaring.

Here's a picture of my lovely date for the evening:

I talked to Mom this afternoon after getting home from work. The only thing that she can tell me for sure is that a) she was given every test that she could conceive of a human body being subjected to and b) the doctor was able to confirm that she does indeed have a heart abnormality. The cause of the condition is unknown, although she seems fairly certain that it was caused by the hercepton infusions. Her heart is definitely not working hard enough to supply her body with the blood that it needs.

Tonight, she's on medication that is designed to stimulate her heart into working harder. At 1:30 PM tomorrow, she will be meeting with her oncologist to discuss her condition further and to decide (I hope) on a course of action from here on out.

Saints of God, please continue to pray for this situation. May the Lord hear and favor the prayers of His people.

Urgent Call to Prayer

I would ask everyone reading these words to lift my Mom up in prayer this afternoon at 1:30 PM EST. She has had a change in her health status that could be very serious.

About a half hour ago, I talked to her on the phone. She's informed me that all follow up treatments for her cancer (radiation and hercepton infusions) have ceased immediately. Apparently, hercepton causes side effects very rarely. Unfortunately, Mom is one of those rare exceptions. Among the side effects she has experienced has been heart trouble. Apparently, the drug has inhibited the functioning of her heart, resulting in insufficient blood being pumped. She's been having dizzy spells, and with the her family history of heart problems, she's very concerned that this could be on the onset of serious cardiac problems.

This afternoon at 1:30 PM, she's visiting her new cardiologist for the first time. Please pray that this is nothing more than the latest, irritating bump in the road. Well, what the heck. While you're on your knees, please ask the Lord to heal all side effects and allow Mom to resume her treatments!

Thanks, and God bless you.

Word Verification Activated

As of this morning, I've activated word verification for all comments to this blog. That means that if you wish to leave me a comment, you must now go through one of those slightly annoying "Enter the Word You See in the Above Picture" deals before your comment will appear on the site.

I'm doing this because I'm sick of having to delete all of the spam everytime I post something. Granted, I'm sure that all of the spammers, with their offers of free gifts and incredible deals on medications that promise all natural male enhancement, are only being kind and looking out for my best interests. But at the risk of sounding like a grumpy gus......

...enough's enough.

The Big Chill

"Dad," asked Philip. "Why doesn't the furnace break in the summer?"

"Because," I answered. "God made it that way. He made it so that furnaces would break in the winter and air conditioners would break in the summer."

Yesterday morning, we were a couple of days into an intense arctic cold spell. I thought I saw on the news that some areas of Michigan had gotten to 45 below zero. I'm sure that in our area, we were in the neighborhood of 10 below. Really bitter, bitter cold. I got up at my usual time, about 5:00 AM. The house was cold, as you would expect. The furnace was running, and Rita managed to wake up long enough to ask if the heat was turned up or if the house was so cold that the furnace was just trying to keep us heated to the point that I dial down to at night.

"The heat's not up yet," I answered. "It's cold enough to click on the heat even when it's dialed down."

I went downstairs, started the car, got all my stuff ready, and went for my coffee.

No sugar in the sugar bowl.

So, I went downstairs to our pantry to refill it. While down there, I noted that the furnace sounded... funny. But I couldn't deal with that now.

Going back upstairs, I put down the sugar and went to check the thermostat. FIFTY-EIGHT DEGREES????

But... but... but...

It's set to 60 degrees. It couldn't go below 60! I ran back downstairs and checked the furnace. It was still running, but it was stone cold. I opened up the panels and looked inside. Like any man who has no idea what he's doing, I desperately tried to fake the furnace out. I wiggled wires. I found a switch that I turned on and off a few times.

Nothing.

As a last resort, I did what every man does when confronted by a situation that scares him, confuses him, and frustrates him - I went and woke up my wife.

Rita came downstairs and watched while I wiggled and switched again. Still nothing. I made the decision that strikes fear into the heart of any consumer of heating and cooling services - I had to call the repairman.

From the upstairs bedroom, I heard my wallet scream.

While I looked up the phone number for the only heating and cooling company that we use, Rita decided to move all the junk that had accumulated around the furnace so that the fix it guy could get to the machine without climbing over a mountain of stuff. But once she started, she couldn't stop. By the time I came back down, she had cleaned the entire basement. (That's not a joke. She really did.)

Family Heating and Cooling has no emergency service and doesn't publish their service hours. Just on the outside chance that someone was in the office, I called. That was at about 6:00 AM. Nothing. So, Rita and I went into the family room and turned on the TV. We watched the dregs of early morning television, including The Life of Olivia Newton-John on E!'s True Hollywood Story.

And we waited.

We didn't go back up to bed in part, I think, because we were afraid if we fell asleep now, we'd freeze to death. Things continued to go from bad to worse. I called into work and told my boss I would be late. I turned on the fireplace before remembering that gas logs without a blower throw off about as much heat as a paper match. After several attempts, I finally got the dog to lay on my ice cold feet. Then I realized that I had to go to the bathroom, so I kicked him off me again. Kids started trickling downstairs, only to scurry under a blanket when told of our calamity. Pretty soon, the room was filled with a mob of children who were hoping against hope that our lack of heat would mean no school. Maybe it was the boredom and the cold, but my mind began to obsess about issues of mortality. Would we freeze to death only to be found days later when we failed to show up at Sunday morning service? Or would we lapse into suspended animation, only to be revived hundreds of years in the future, trapped in a mad futuristic world we had never made????

I finally got through to Family H & C, and I immediately played the kid card.

"I need help. My furnace broke during the night. I've got six children here, and we're freezing." I didn't finish that sentence with "to death," but I'm sure those words were heavily implied. An appointment was set up for later in the morning. Staying wrapped in our blankets, we shuffled to the kitchen for breakfast.

While we were eating, Rita and I hatched a plan that would allow for homeschool to continue. (The kids were delighted!) She would take them all up to our church, while the dog and I would wait for the repairman.

This would work.

Later, the Family Heating and Cooling truck pulled in while the family van was just pulling out. Out popped this huge, beefy kid who looked about as old as my 15-year-old. Ten minutes and $150 later, the furnance was humming away and pumping out glorious heat.

Bad igniter.

Sweet.

The troops stayed up at the church for most of the day to give the house time to warm up. The dog resumed his full time job of laying on the floor and licking himself. I got showered (brrrrrrrrrr) and headed into work.

And all was right with the world once again. (Except for my wallet.)

Prayer Request

I would ask anyone reading this blog to lift up in prayer Lori and her children. They are in a bad place right now and very much need the favor and blessings of God.

On their behalf, I thank you.

My First Rule of Blogging

As you may have noticed, the previous item I posted has been edited to remove references to a situation that some friends of mine are going through in their personal life. Although I specifically said that it was not my story to tell, I felt that I was at liberty to discuss it. That was my first mistake. My second mistake was revealing personal information about the people involved, including their names.

After church this morning, I was approached by fellow member whom I respect and admire greatly. He informed me, in love, that he was surprised that I have been "so revealing" about what our friends are going through. We discussed the issue for a while, and I am so very grateful that I attend a church with brothers and sisters who can be honest with each other.

While driving home, I realized how right he was. I shared what I had written with Rita, who hadn't read it yet. She agreed completely with the gentleman who talked to me after service. I immediately signed onto my blog and removed the personal information that I had posted.

In hindsight, I see that what I had done was wrong. And I feel terrible about it.

So, that leads me to my first official law of blogging. I originally said in the offending post that I was commenting on the situation, even though it wasn't my story to tell. That was wrong. Here is Tim Butler's First Official Rule of Blogging -

IF IT'S NOT MY STORY TO TELL, DON'T TELL IT.

Trials of the Century

Sorry for the sounds of silence lately. The last week or two have been an emotional rollercoaster and a flurry of activities that have preoccupied me. Among the issues that have distracted me have been:

1) Olivia went through tech week and performances in Ever After Productions' version of Disney's Aladdin. She was a member of a couple of choruses in the show, and she did her usual great job. Rita and I took turns volunteering backstage during rehearsals and performances, and we also attended the Saturday evening performance. It was a wonderful show and very well received by the audience. All the kids did well, and special kudos go to Ramon Razo, who played Genie. He was genuinely amusing, and a lot of his ad libs were laugh out loud funny. He gets special congratulations for carrying off the part in the shadow of Robin Williams, a tough act to follow.

I regret that I wasn't in the audience or backstage for the performance when Aladdin and Jasmine fell off of the magic carpet during "A Whole New World." I understand that they had to run to catch it and then had to jump back on.

2) For the first time since December, I had a rough week in terms of my future at Ford. Although I've been feeling a great peace about my positon at the company, some anxiety and fear crept back in a few days ago. I'm happy to report that peace has been restored, and some recent developments in this area have been very encouraging. More on this in a later post.

3) Removed for privacy considerations.