Saturday, November 05, 2005
Stupid Jedi Must Die
The Butler household has been overrun with Star Wars lately. About a week ago, I finally caved in and used my Father's Day gift card from Best Buy to purchase the original trilogy on widescreen DVD. Right on the heels of that, I managed to snag Episode III: Revenge of the Sith at Target. (On sale for about $15. Not bad.) As a result, the kids (and the Dad) have been clammering for a little extra TV time to check out the goodies.
We flirted a bit with the original trilogy, hoping to find some awesome extras, gag reels, and deleted scenes on the bonus disk. (Of course, we've all seen the movies about 23,876 times combined.) We were disappointed. Although we haven't checked out everything yet, it doesn't look like much. The main attraction is a 2 hour documentary on the life of George Lucas that we already watched on the A&E network. No behind the scenes stuff. At least none that we can see.
Then came Episode III. I've looked forward to this for a long time. This film - the last in prequel series - is by far the best movie in the series since The Empire Strikes Back. Loaded with top notch effects, intense action, and amazing lightsaber duels, this film does not disappoint. The only complaint that I really have about it is that, since it necessarily deals with the triumph of evil, some really nasty things do happen. But with some judicious remote control editting, the whole family can watch the transformation of headstrong, powerful, flawed but decent Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker become the evil, sinister Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith and cinema icon. And in the course of this transition, we watch as Anakin kills all his friends and fellow Jedi, causes the death of his beloved Padme, and gets dismembered and cooked in lava.
Decent, wholesome family fun.
Which brings me to the point of this post. In retrospect, it seems obvious to me that the entire Star Wars saga has some holes that you could drive a Type A-14793 Fussion Powered Rebel Blockade Runner through. (Trust me. Those are huge.) After some serious pondering of this issue, I've come to the conclusion that the Jedi were simply too stupid to live. Those guys got exactly what they deserved.
From time to time, I will discuss this issue. So without further ado, here's the first in my series about why the Jedi Knights were too stupid to live:
Why The Jedi Were Too Stupid to Live - Reason #1
Overheard in the Jedi Temple -
"Young Skywalker, I sense your feelings for Senator Amidala. Your love for her is strong. Remember that a Jedi Knight has committed to purge such feelings and live only for serving others. If you cling to these thoughts and emotions, you may turn to the dark side, become a Dark Lord of the Sith, and murder everyone in the cast of this movie.
"Now, for your next assignment, we're sending you and Senator Amidala to her home planet of Naboo. There, the two of you will dwell alone and completely without chaperones for an extended period of time among the romantic vistas, scenic lakes, and beautiful sunsets. It's the perfect place for a man and woman to fall in love and commit themselves to a secret relationship that even we, the all knowing Jedi, would be too dense to pick up on.
"But don't get any ideas."
