The Servant's Quarters

Pride in the Midst of Bitter Disappointment

I'm so proud of my boys.

I can't believe that I did anything to bring up these young men to be the strong, resiliant people they are. Their character humbles me.

Let me explain.

Earlier this year, Isaac and Philip joined an organization called the Young Marines. To put it succinctly, it's a Marine version of the Boy Scouts. The boys loved it and took to it readily. Philip especially was very crisp and smart in his Marine uniform. They both adopted regulation haircuts, drilled with the rest of the group, and marched in several parades during the summer months.

When the opportunity to earn a meritorious promotion came up this Fall, both boys expressed an interest in going from Private to Private First Class. My understanding was that only one young marine in the unit would be granted this promotion, so I immediately began to worry about the worst case scenario - one of them would get it and the other one wouldn't. I think that if Isaac was the one selected, it would be difficult but bearable. As the eldest, Isaac was naturally assumed to proceed Philip in most achievements. However, I was concerned that Philip would be passed over Isaac. I would be so proud of Phil, but Isaac would be destroyed.

The boys completed all the required testing, and we soon heard the good news - both boys received their promotions. They would both achieve the rank of Private First Class. We were ecstatic.

This past Monday was the date set aside for the promotion ceremony during the groups regular weekly meeting. The boys knew their Mom was going to be there to see them receive their certificates and their new rank ensignia. I told them I wouldn't be able to, but I decided to pack up the other four children and drop in on the ceremony unannounced. My parents also planned on being there. My Dad, a former Marine, had picked out momentos of this event for both the boys.

I was home from work on vacation last Monday. I remember it very distinctly. It was a sunny warm day. The kids and Rita were in the yard doing work. I was on the porch trying to repair the railing. It was mere hours before the awards ceremony.

The phone rang.

I went into the house and answered it. The caller was Charlie Volker, the boys commanding officer. He told me that he had some bad news. Apparently, promotions in the Young Marines are governed at the national level. There is a national process in place that must be followed. However, Charlie had mistakenly administered his own test to the boys during their evaluation. There was nothing he could do about it. It was his mistake, but the results were the same no matter whose fault it was.

My boys were not going to receive their promotions. Worse, they would have to start over, retaking tests, standing for an oral examinations, and proving their qualifications all over again.

I was stunned. And angry. I immediately thought to situations in my life where I had been denied something earned or treated unjustly. Of employment situations where I was asked to do the work and not given the rewards promised. The bitterness of those situations was something that I only ignored through intense strength and self-control, and I can honestly say that I probably never completely succeeded in overcoming in this area.

Now I would have to deliver this kind of blow to my boys.

I called them into the Family Room after their yard work was complete. I shut the doors and told them that I had to talk to them about something very important. Isaac guessed that it had something to do with their promotions.

I started by telling them that sometimes in life, we can do everything absolutely right and still have the rug pulled out from under us. That it's not fair, but it is life. With that introduction, I told them point blank what had happened. I told them that their plans for this evening had been dashed. That no one was going to show up to see them get their promotions because it wasn't going to happen. I told them that it was an honest mistake, but it wasn't there mistake. They were paying the price for a mistake on the part of their leader.

Isaac stared straight ahead as he listened to me. He was expressionless. Philip's eyes darted around the room. He'd look at me, then look away. He kept shaking his head from side to side. I could see that he was fighting to keep the tears out of his eyes that were forcing their way to the surface. I reminded them of one of their comrades who had been inspirational to both of them. That young man, Ian Brotnov, had had to retake his entire Young Marines basic training because of an administrative error.

When I was done, I waited for them to react. They had understood me. They knew that they were back to square one in earning their new ranks. Isaac stood up, shruggled his shoulders and said, "Oh well...." Philip stood up with his brother, won his stuggle over the tears and said, "Well, I get to ace the tests all over again." They weren't kidding. They weren't putting on a brave front. These young men faced bitter disappointment and conquered it. I told them that I wouldn't blame them if they wanted to take a week off of Young Marines. Both looked at me like I was nuts. Of course, they would go. They weren't going to let this set back interfere with their duty.

I was and am so proud of these young men. They may not have gotten their promotions, but they definitely rank me.

(Post-Script: That evening in Young Marines, Commander Volker used this authority to give the boys a field promotion to the rank of Acting Private First Class. They still have to earn the full promotion, but until that time, they will enjoy all the rights and privileges of any other PFC in the Young Marines.)